Sex & Intimacy
Do you know everything there is to
know about sex? We didn’t think so. For men hungry for a little more knowledge,
our sex primer answers big questions about penis size, porn, reviving a
stalled-out love life, and a lot more.
Sex Play
Ever feel like your sex life could
be better? Who hasn’t? Try these six tips for fantastic sex.
Some guys still think of foreplay
as a chore — something to get out of the way before getting to the good stuff.
Here’s why they’re wrong.
Are you ready for teledildonics?
Take a tour of the virtual universe of online sex — from X-rated chat rooms to
avatar hook-ups to plug-and-play sex toys.
Everything you need to know about
condoms — including 10 tips for getting the best protection.
Do you really know how to use a
condom or do you just think you do? Since the stakes are pretty high, try this
condom quiz out for size.
Touchy Topics
How big is the average penis? Can
men have multiple orgasms? And just where is that mysterious G-spot? Grab a
ruler and a stopwatch as we sort sex myths from the facts.
Admit it — you’ve always wondered
if yours could be bigger. Here’s a rundown of all the purported ways to expand —
pumps, pills, exercises, and surgery. But do any work?
Circumcision reduces the risk of
HIV, syphilis, and other diseases — but many consider it barbaric. What are the
pros and cons of circumcising your son?
Are some men really porn
junkies? Some say that smut acts like a toxin in your brain. Many experts say
that’s nonsense. Here are the facts.
It’s no joke — according to
experts, sex addiction can be a serious problem for some people. How do you know
if your sex drive has become something destructive?
You want more sex and she wants
less. Or vice versa. Sexual frustration affects almost every couple at one time
or another. So how do you get past it?
Has your sex life become a bit dull
— or disappeared altogether? Get some tips from the experts on what kills
passion and how to rekindle it.
Feeling like you’ve lost your sex
drive? What causes a low libido — and what can be done to get it back to normal?
Find out the answers here.
Sexual Problems
Too fast? Too slow? Here’s
everything you need to know about overcoming premature ejaculation, delayed
ejaculation, and other problems.
Sexually transmitted diseases are
the nasty side of sex. Here’s what you need to know about STDs in men —
including how to avoid them.
Overcoming Ejaculation Problems
Are ejaculation problems an issue of mind over matter?
Well, if a man and his partner don’t mind how long it takes him to ejaculate,
then it really doesn’t matter. For example, Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex therapist and
author of She Comes First, advises men to bring their partners to the
brink of orgasm before having intercourse. Then, if he’s prone to premature
ejaculation, it doesn’t matter since both of them come away satisfied.
Conversely, if a man takes longer than average to ejaculate, but both
partners enjoy marathon sex sessions, then delayed ejaculation can be a real
plus.
However, some men do mind how long it takes them to ejaculate. They mind a
lot -- and so do their partners. But while the mind often plays a big role in
creating ejaculation problems, it’s also key in overcoming them. Here are some
tips on what to do.
Common Ejaculation Problems
When it comes to ejaculation, there are basically three different things that
can go wrong.
- Premature ejaculation is by far the biggest complaint that men have
about their sexual performance. After studying data gathered by the National
Health and Social Life Survey, sociologist Edward Laumann, PhD, estimated that a
third of American men complain that they ejaculate too quickly. They want to
last longer during intercourse to prolong the pleasure, both for themselves and
their partners. - Delayed ejaculation (or retarded ejaculation) affects a much smaller
number of men – as few as 3%, according to some estimates. It’s one of the most
poorly understood ejaculation problems. Some men cannot reach orgasm at all, at
least not with a partner. - Retrograde ejaculation is the least common of the ejaculation
problems. It causes semen to back into the bladder during orgasm instead of
exiting by way of the penis. The semen is then later flushed out when you
urinate.
Retrograde ejaculation can be caused by diabetes, nerve damage,
various medications, and surgery that disturbs the sphincter muscle. It’s
harmless and won’t interfere with the feeling of orgasm. (It can also make for
an easy post-sex clean-up.) But since it does affect fertility, some men may
need treatment if their partners are trying to get pregnant.
What Causes Delayed Ejaculation?
There are lots of different reasons for delayed ejaculation. Some medicines
-- like antidepressants -- are common culprits. For many men, it’s age. As we
grow older, the nerve endings in the penis become less sensitive, according to
Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man
Over 50, and a professor of human sexuality at the University of California,
Fullerton.
“When the reflexes slow down, it takes longer,” Keesling says. “Another thing
that happens with age is that your erection ability goes down too, so it becomes
more difficult to ejaculate without a full erection.”
You may also have a hand in your delayed ejaculation problem. By adopting a
masturbation technique that involves intense pressure, friction and speed, some
men train themselves to respond to a level of stimulation no partner could
duplicate -- at least not without coaching, which the man usually is reluctant
to provide.
Michael A. Perelman, PhD, a sex and marital therapist in New York City says
he sometimes tries to get men with delayed orgasm to agree to a masturbation
moratorium. This does more than stop the practices that may be contributing to
the problem. It also allows a build-up of sexual desire, which provides “a
mechanism for reducing the threshold of arousal necessary for orgasm,” he
says.
But while masturbation can cause delayed ejaculation, it can also aid in the
cure. If a guy won’t agree to keep his hands off, Perelman will urge him at
least to alter his masturbation style -- to switch hands, for example -- in
order to break old habits. The problem is that your tried-and-true,
quick-and-dirty masturbation style is probably terrible practice for sex with
another person.
So instead of just masturbating efficiently to achieve orgasm, Perelman
encourages men to fantasize about a sexual experience with their partners while
they masturbate. He tells them to try “to approximate, in terms of speed,
pressure and technique, the stimulation he likely will experience through
manual, oral, or vaginal stimulation with his partner.” It might take a little
longer, but it makes masturbation more of a “dress rehearsal” for sex. You can
also talk to your partner about your fantasy afterwards, Perelman suggests.
Premature Ejaculation Cure: Self-Love
So what about the much more common problem of premature ejaculation? In this
case, masturbation can be just the ticket. Having repeated orgasms will bring on
delayed ejaculation in almost any guy. Some believe that the best premature
ejaculation tip is to double the number of orgasms a man has per week. And if
that doesn’t work, to double it again.
There’s some evidence to support this folk remedy.
“Young men with a short refractory period may often experience a second and
more controlled ejaculation during an episode of lovemaking,” says Chris G.
McMahon, MD, in a 2004 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Masturbation may also help men learn to control their level of arousal, which
is essential for delaying orgasm.
Other Ways to Treat Premature Ejaculation
One time-honored technique for premature ejaculation is to distract yourself
-- to think about something boring or even disgusting to delay your orgasm.
While this may work for some, it has the unfortunate side effect of distancing
men from their partners and the sexual experience.
There’s also an obvious alternative: pull out and stop having sex for a few
minutes to postpone orgasm. Sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson
elaborated on this when they developed the “squeeze-pause” technique, also known
as the “penis grip,” to quell the desire to climax. As the name implies, this
involves squeezing the head of the penis as orgasm approaches
Perelman helps men last longer by teaching them a variation of the Masters
and Johnson technique. It involves slowing themselves down and altering their
movements in a way that maximizes their partner’s pleasure. They do this while
maintaining their erection but without overexciting themselves.
Antidepressants for Premature Ejaculation?
For men who aren’t helped by any of these techniques, there’s a
pharmaceutical option. Since some antidepressants -- selective serotonin
reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs -- are known to cause delayed ejaculation,
researchers tried them as a way to treat premature ejaculation. By taking an
antidepressant four to six hours before intercourse, men prone to premature
ejaculation can last longer.
Not surprisingly, drug companies were quick to take notice. A short-acting
SSRI called dapoxetine has already been developed specifically for premature
ejaculation. According to a 2006 study published in The Lancet, when
taken one to three hours before sex, the drug increased the time from
penetration to ejaculation from 1.75 minutes to 2.78 minutes for men treated
with 30 milligrams of the drug. Men who got 60 milligrams lasted 3.32
minutes.
“A couple of minutes may not sound like much, but for these guys it was
huge,” said the lead author of the study, Jon L. Pryor, MD, when the results
were published in September 2006. However, dapoxetine has not yet been approved
by the FDA and is not available in the United States.
Although they also have not been approved, the antihistamine cyproheptadine
and the anti-flu drug amantadine have been used with moderate success to treat
delayed ejaculation, McMahon says.
Instead of drugs, some men use a desensitizing cream to delay orgasm. There’s
an even simpler solution: double up your condoms to reduce your stimulation.
Treating Ejaculation Problems
Whatever your ejaculation problem, there are solutions. The key is to get
help. And we don’t just mean from a doctor, although that’s important --
ejaculation problems can be signs of more serious medical issues, after all.
But you also need to talk openly with your partner -- something that many men
are loath to do.
“Almost universally, men [with ejaculation problems] fail to communicate
their preferences for stimulation to either their doctor or their partners,
because of shame, embarrassment, or ignorance,” Perelman tells WebMD.
So don’t stay mum and let shame or male pride ruin your sex life (and your
partner’s). Letting that tension build up will just make things worse. With some
openness, some discussion, and maybe a few fun new techniques in the bedroom,
you can overcome your ejaculation problem. That means less worry and more
sex.
Fitness & Exercise
Whether you’re a weekend warrior
fine tuning your physique or a lay-about who gets breathless walking to the
mailbox, we’ve got what you need to know. Learn how to get fit and avoid
injury.
From Flabby to Fit
Hate exercise? You’re not alone.
But here’s a rundown of the reasons why you need to get moving — such as to live
longer — and easy ways for you to do it.
Want to get buff but don’t know
where to start? WebMD’s got a complete rundown of the strength-building
exercises you need — for your arms, shoulders, chest, core, and legs.
Finding a health club isn’t easy.
What’s most important? The location? The equipment? The price? Here are five
ways to determine whether a fitness club is right for you.
Is your gym bag gathering dust?
Maybe you need a personal trainer to get your fitness plan back on track. We
provide some tips on what to look for in a trainer.
Playing It Safe
Watch out, weekend warriors! We’ve
got the rundown on how to prevent seven dreaded sports injuries.
From athlete’s foot to jock itch to
jogger’s nipples — join us on a tour of an athlete’s chamber of little horrors,
and get some tips on how to avoid them.
Do you organize exercise around
your life — or your life around exercise? Find out when a passion for fitness
becomes unhealthy.
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